It's About More Than Food!

OH man it has been a while since I have been on! I have had a busy weekend with friends, cleaning, and getting all my ducks in a row for the surgery.

Yesterday, I spend such amazing time with my friends! They made my birthday feel so special. I am so lucky to have amazing friends.

I have realized how important it is to have a community of people who will rally around you and ask the hard questions, and challenge you to grow in your faith and in your character. During yesterday's visit down to San Diego, I was challenged even more as to why I am having this surgery and what an emotional ride I will be taking.

For those of you who don't know me really well, my weight has been a shield to protect me. I have been able to absorb satan's lies in the extra weight and pack them on. I have always felt "safe" from those who try to hurt me. With my weight, I have not had to be vulnerable to others, or myself as well. I can hide behind this weight and live. Someone once told me "you dont want to be a miserable fat person." It is already one strike against me being fat, don't need to be miserable too! Though this advice was given in love, it made me realize that I better be fake otherwise people won't like me, because they sure as heck won't like me because I am fat. What a huge LIE from Satan!

I have lived a life not wanting to be honest with myself that sometimes life sucks. And friends, sometimes life does suck. Being fat sucks! Feeling unhealthy sucks! Getting bumped into because I take up more space sucks! Not feeling desirable sucks! (Beauty and desirable are SO different.) Do I have a lot to complain about in life? No, not any more than anyone else. Is it safe to say that I can be vulnerable? Yeah it is! I NEED to be. It is a progression.

After this surgery, I am convinced that it will all hit the fan! Emotions I never knew existed will surface. Friends, beyond this weight loss I am sure to experience, true healing and introspection of my own life will take place. Am I ready for that? I HAVE TO BE! I truly believe that my weight is not about the food. It is not about the weight! It is about emotional baggage that I have carried around with the 200lbs of extra weight.
Am I nervous for it all to surface? YES, are you kidding! It will be hard. Tears will be shed, life will change, but I must endure the battle. God has a huge plan for my life. This is just the beginning of His plan for my life.

The real question my friends is, are you ready for this? This blog, I pray, will be a place where you can seek inside yourself as well. Let's face the music together. Let's work together to see why we are the way we are. What in our lives need to be purged out? What are you hiding? Why will you not be vulnerable to the one's you love, or yourself?

Let's seek out the Lord together in this purpose. He is so good to us. Where our sin abounds, grace abounds even more.

Let us be cleansed and seek our Father in Heaven to give us healing.
For me it's about more than Food.

Fill in the one about yourself "It is about more than......"
Alcohol? Prescription drugs? An Affair? Porn? Bitterness? Anger? Rage?

Friend's work together to come to the bottom of our heart and seek true healing!