Prayer Request

Whew!!! These past few weeks have been quite crazy! I am clinging to His strength in this time of stress and trial. I feel like sometimes if it is not one thing, it is another. "So what could it be now?!?!" you might ask. Well, I developed a yeast infection on my arm with the PICC line and that is the reason it has been SO ITCHY.

I saw the at home nurse today and she was very concerned how close it was to the IV site and made it very clear that getting a yeast infection in your blood stream is NOT a good thing. I was put on Diflucan, a yeast infection drug, to hopefully get rid of the infection. If it does not heal up, they will have to remove the PICC line. Though, if I could, I would pull out the PICC line myself because I HATE it so much, it is not a good idea to have the PICC line removed until me blood levels are back to normal. If they have to take out the PICC line before the levels are within normal range, it might take longer for me to recover.

Please pray that everything well continue to heal and that God will continue to be glorified in all of this. I will be rejoicing in this victory when it is all over!

God continues to remain the Healer, Protector, and Planner of my life, even when life is hard.

The Learning Curve

Having time off of work for medical reasons is always a bummer! It is not like I am on vacation and get to travel around, but instead I have to make an important choice; Wallow in my sorrows (which I did a little bit of) or seek out God and let Him teach me.

After my time crying and feeling sorry for myself, I knew it was important to spend time with God and ask Him to teach me and mold me. Well, I was not exactly ready for some of the things that He was about to show me.

Here are the Good Things I have learned thus far....

1. With God's strength, you can handle a lot more then you think you can.
2. God uses our challenges to teach us and reveal Himself even more
3. I learned it is ok to spend time alone with God even if it is tempting to watch CSI all day!
   

Here are some of the Harder Things I have learned thus far...

1. Medical Bills stink! As many of you know, it has been my biggest desire to get out of debt and go to Graduate School to become a Speech Language Pathologist. Well, I have been working on my Graduate School application for months. My plan was to work hard this last year to get out of debt, or at least take a good chunk out of it and go to grad school this next year. Well, the unfortunate reality of getting sick is that medical bills are EXPENSIVE! Through much prayer and willingness to listen to God, it was revealed to me that Graduate School is not going to happen this year. I really do not feel good about taking out additional student loans, going to school full time, decreasing my work hours, AND try to pay off my debt. My medical bills are going to be pretty pricey and would feel better working hard to pay those off before I add additional debt for school. I must admit, I am sad! It is a dream to go to Grad school, but I know that God's timing is better than my own and that EVERYTHING happens for His glory, and that I must trust that.
2. Also, because of medical bills, I am most likely moving in with my mom when my lease is up at my condo. I love love love living in my condo, but unfortunately, I NEED to get out of debt and in order to do that, I need to move home and save $1000 a month. I am still working out the logistics because I may not be saving too much because I will be driving to work which will be a quite a commute. I am still praying about this, but what I do know is that I need to be able to pay off my medical debt. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices, but I have peace about what God is doing in my life.
   

Learning lessons from God are sometimes hard to swallow, but I do have trust that He is working it all out for good.

I will keep you guys posted on more things that God is teaching me. I know there are a lot of things He wants to show me.

God I am open and willing to hear your voice!!!

The Silver Lining!

Things finally feel like they are looking up! As you know these last few weeks have taken quite a toll on me. I feel like I have not had a good cry in a long while until last week. Things all seemed to hit at once. When this stuff happens, it becomes extremely stressful and I broke down. During this past week, I have been given the great opportunity to seek God in what He is trying to teach me, show me, and mold me. Though sometimes when we are put in the fire for God to mold us, it hurts and breaks us, but it really truly only makes us stronger.

I feel like I am getting stronger physically everyday and emotionally better a little bit slower but it is coming around. Finally, last night I got a full nights sleep where I did not wake up with a neck ache and actually slept in my bed and not on the couch. I am a stomach sleeper, but because of this darn PICC line, it has been really hard to move around without it pulling. Last night, I was able to sleep on my stomach and finally get a full nights sleep not tossing and turning.

I was visited by the nurse yesterday regarding the PICC line and it looks good, no sign of infection. My only complaint is that I am allergic to the tape they have to wrap it in, so it really itches and I have a rash from it. That is a bit of a bummer but I can deal.

My lab work is being done every few days. My Lipase levels are still double what they should be, but they are slowly improving as with my Liver Function levels. I am not out of the woods yet, but things are improving.

I have my follow-up appointment with the Dr tomorrow at noon so I would appreciate your prayers! They will check me out and make sure that I am healing ok and to make sure they do not see any more potential problems. I also suspect that I will be off the PICC line in a week from today. They have a order in for 1 more week of nutrition, but lets pray that is the end of it. It is quite tedious and heavy to carry around.

I am glad that I am feeling better slowly but surely and actually have an appetite. I have not been hungry at all and now I am actually things. Some of those things I cant eat, like Taco Bell, but I am craving food in general, which is good.

That is basically what is going on. I will be posting soon about some of the things God has been showing me. Some things I am still dealing with and kind of sad that he is changing my plans, but He knows my life better than I do.

Update....Hospital....Life...

This has been quite a week. I have not been able to update or do anything due to being in the hospital.

So, how did this happen you might ask?
Well starting last friday I was really really fatigued and gaggy (I was gagging really easy, even while I brushed my teeth.) Come the weekend, I went walking with a friend in La Jolla and was SO TIRED and SO THIRSTY. I just felt really sick. I was unable to eat any food because I did not have an appetite at all. Finally come monday I was really sick. I was supposed to get ready and go to work but I started dry heaving and get really weak and dizzy.

I immediately called Dr. C and he said that my symptoms were too hard to assess over the phone so he wanted me to go to the ER asap and he would meet me there. Once I got to the ER I did not have to wait at all they got me right in. Once I was in the immediately started me on IV fluids. They pumped me full of 5 bags of fluid in the first day. My Dr. met me there and ordered an Upper GI Scan, so the wheel me in, only to be moved again to have a more precise test; MRI with contrast. Once they did the scan, it was determined that I possibly had some thickening of one of the "limbs" that attaches to my new stomach. The Dr. decided he wanted to keep me over night to monitor me and pump me full of more fluids.

I stayed the night and has blood work in the morning that determined that I had elevated liver levels, lipase, and billi ruben levels that affect my pancreas and liver. My electrolyte levels were also off causing me to be dehydrated. Because they noticed the thickening of the "limb" the Dr. ordered an endoscopy. That is where they put a camera down your throat to look into the stomach. This was basically a bad experience for me. You see I only got 5 hours of sleep in 48 hours, and after the sedative they gave me, I still woke up in the middle of the procedure and was gagging. That was a pretty miserable experience.

The endoscope revealed that there was not thickening and they suspected, due to my levels, I had Pancreatitis. This was caused by taking out my gallbladder during surgery. They suspected that some "particles" and possibly a gallstone got lodged in the bile duct and needed to "pass" and it was stuck in the pancreas. Because of that I still could not eat anything and needed to get the patricles passed out of my system.

I stayed in the hospital for 4 nights trying to determine what was going on. Finally on Friday I was able to go home....with a catch. I am home with invtervenous nutrition. For this, they needed to insert a PICC line. Basically it is an IV in my upper arm and it get threaded in the vein all the way up my chest just above my heart. THIS SUCKS!!!! They tried to insert it but could not get it in the right place. Because they could not get it in the right place, they had to send me to radiology to insert it. Boy did it hurt and was just a bummer. :(

Once I got home I received a huge package and was taught how to use my my nutrition device. It is pretty much terrible and a lot to remember. As denoted on my last post, I hit my breaking point. Because of the nutrition I have to take 2 more weeks off work. I am really bummed to have to miss work and stay at home. I am really BORED and want my life to be normal again, or at least as normal as I can have it.

I will most likely have the nutrition for two weeks then life will proably be back to normal. Until then I am going to have a ton of time on my hands.

I must say I am hitting a wall and really sad. It WILL get better, but right now it feels like it never will.

I am seeking prayer and support during this rough time.

Thanks

Sometimes we reach our breaking point:(

Well I had myself a pity party. Tears were shed and I am just mad this is all happening. I will get into it another time, just tired and wanted to update you guys.

I am out of the hospital after 4days being in. I am home now, but hit a breaking point and am really bummed on life right now.

I know that God is faithful and has a purpose for this, but right now life is just a bummer. :(

It always gets better, but right now it is just a bummer.

I will give you all the details on why I ended up in the hospital tomorrow.

Some Things Never Change....

Some Things Never Change....

So I was getting ready to eat dinner tonight....so like always I went to the cupboard....only to find this.....

Oh yeah somehow I forgot that I dont eat anything. Only vitamins and oatmeal to be found in here. Some Things Never Change!

Oh but some things DO change! I looked to the counter and what do I find?

That's right....protein water! Just 5 bottles to last me 5 days. 40 grams of protein packed in those puppies. Oh how life changes.....

But Some Things Never Change, I still love to eat salmon, veggies, and fruits.....

But some things DO change....like how little I can eat and LOOK, there is EVEN food left on the plate. I think that is the biggest change of all!


But some things DO change....like losing 33lbs! Now that is a change if I ever SAW one!

Top 10 Reasons to Have GBP!

The Top 10 Reasons to Have Gastric Bypass are........

1. Cheap Cheap Cheap grocery bills. I spent $50, which I am sure will last me for a month!
2. My shoes actually fit my fat feet. No pain, no blisters, no busted ankles.
3. Its a great excuse to catch up on all the TV shows you have been missing, since I dont have cable.
4. Free house decorating with BEAUTIFUL flowers:)
   
5. It's a great excuse to not shave your legs. This one might be my favorite! (side note, they are shaved.....FINALLY)
6. Free Laundry Service. Folded and Hung! (thanks mom!)
7. A great excuse to break out your "tea-party" dishes. Heck, fill up that plate!!!
8. MOVIES, MOVIES, MOVIES
9. You get a "guilt free" new wardrobe!
10. The ability to feel "normal" again!
    

I have had such a great experience so far. I am sure challenges will arise and will have to take each day at a time. But until then, I am enjoying the "things that matter." Hehe. There are many many many greater health reasons than the tangible ones above, but I hope they made you smile:)

Home!!!

Hello Friends!
Yesterday, I decided it was about time that I go home and get used to this new living by myself. I have been quite dependent of my AMAZING mom and sister to take care of me and cater to my every need, but since I am feeling better, I thought it was best I do it on my own.

I was PETRIFIED!!!! I did not know what I would do and how I was going to do it. Well I survived doing a few things independently yesterday. I went to the grocery store all by myself. What a crazy crazy experience! First of all, so much food and such a little stomach:( I had to be very intentional on the food I was going to get because first of all, I can not lift very much, plus I am still eating soft foods.

I am not sure if I told you, but I have become quite a water snob and can not drink tap water. So, when I was at the store, I had to get some water bottles. There was no way I was going to be able to pick up the 20lb case of water, so I had to ask some random person to help pick it up for me. He looked at me quite strange. Um.....kinda like "what a lazy fat person, cant even pick up a water case! What is this world coming too?" I explained I had abdominal surgery and could not lift it. I think he was still skeptical, but helped me anyway. The water, by the way, is still in the trunk of my car, and it will stay there because I am not going to carry it up 19 stairs!! Just say no to hernias right? :)

I made it through my first night alone and am up and ready to start the day today! Well truth be told, I started it at 7:30 this morning thanks to my dad:)

Still healing and still doing well! I start back to work on monday. YAHOO!!! I miss my coworkers and the kids I work with.

Observations.....

Well I am 2 weeks post op! I really can not believe it. It almost feels longer than that I must say! Probably because I have had a ton of time off and have been waking up early so my mom can drop me off at my sisters house at 6:30 am.

The last few days have been rather tough. I know it seems weird because I am almost 30lbs down, but I must say that it has been rather trying. I have not had a hugely diverse set of meals because I am trying to play it safe. I really dont want to overeat or puke so I am introducing a little bit of new foods at a time. Well, I will be honest, I am bored of my food and tired of eating portions smaller than my 7 month old niece eats.

I know that this is just a phase, but I am feeling a bit tested. Sad? No. Discouraged? No. Just bored with the food that I have. Oddly enough the only thing that I really crave is Taco Bell. For all you T-Bell haters, dont judge. That place helped me pack on at least 50lbs. That new T-bell diet makes me laugh....really I think that even if I ate the fresca menu, I would still need 4 tacos. Defeats the purpose eh? Then I am quickly reminded why I did this surgery....T-Bell, right now you are my enemy! :)

On some happier notes, did you know we have bones? Stupid question....I know, but really this is the first time in FOREVER that I can actually see bones in my feet. AND I was moving my leg around and I could actually see the bones/ligaments. To you skinny punks :) you might think this weird. I have been encased in Pilsbury Dough for far too long! This is the fun stuff to get to see.

It is weird losing so much weight because I really dont see it/feel it. I know that this is a normal thing for people to say. It is quite common for the pounds to come off and for the mirror not to reflect it. I guess it is because I get to see myself everyday. Plus, God has given me His eyes to see myself and I really dont see myself from the outside. It has been nice to feel clothes fit differently, but I have not really noticed a HUGE different. This is quite possibly, also, due to the fact that I have almost 200lbs to lose, so 30 lbs is a small fraction of the ultimate goal.

Well those are my realizations of the last few days! Hope you enjoyed reading them.

Also, I wanna name my new stomach pouch....any ideas???? Let me know

Love, Peace, Chicken Grease (Mmm Mmm Mmm, Just kidding)

The Picture You Have Been Waiting For!

Ok OK so I finally have some pictures to share! Here we go.....

Before the Surgery 12/27/2009

Viewers Discretion Advised:

This is what I looked like after surgery

Eating: ie Ice Chips

Sadly, I was unable to wash my hair in the hospital. They sent me home with this shower cap that had water and shampoo in it. I rubbed it on my head for 5 min then took it off. I did not even have to wash it out. Too bad it really did not work :(

How would I call my mom in the middle of the night, you might ask? Banging a metal spoon on the bed of course!

One week Post-op! 23 Pounds DOWN!!!!

And Finally a Typical Meal: BEFORE

AFTER:

What is this? Well....it is a tiny piece of Tilapia, refried beans, broccoli.

Well there are the pictures of my journey so far! I hope you enjoyed them!

Was I your P.O.P?

My sincerest (tongue and cheek) apologies if I have served the role as your P.O.P for as long as I have known you. It has been my role in many social circles to increase your comfort, make you feel good that as least you were not like me, and you knew that there was no judgment!

Well dearest friends, I have to say I can not play the role as your P.O.P anymore. I abandoned that person the second they cut open my stomach. That person disappeared secondly when I can only eat food the consistency of baby food for a while. The P.O.P is no longer in existence with me. Sorry friends, I am truly sorry!!!

So fellow P.O.Ps and fellow P.O.P seekers, I have resigned from this position and will not be accepting any offers for this position or anything like this....EVER!!!!

So you maybe wondering "was she my P.O.P?" "what is she talking about?"

Well friends a P.O.P is simply a Pig Out Partner!

In the words of the wise Justin Timberlake
"The old me's dead and gone."

Love your Former Pig Out Partner,

DRUM ROLL PLEASE!!!

HOORAY, I had my first post-op appointment today! I had to wake up extremely early to get down to RB today for my appointment. I am all the way up at my mom's and I must say it is quite a drive.

Appointment went VERY GOOD! Prayers were answered and they took out my drain today!!!! YAY I am so glad not to have the bloody bag to drag around with me all day. ( I will let you define the word "bloody" in that sentence) :) I was so scared it would hurt super bad, so going into it I was prepared for the worst. Well.....I must say that it was not bad AT ALL! I had the Blake Drain, which I hear is not as painful. It did not hurt at all. Oddly enough, it just felt like someone pushed really hard into my belly button. Have you ever had that feeling? Weird, I know, but that is what it felt like.

On a bummer note, I am SO ITCHY!!!! The glue they use to close the incisions, I think I am allergic too because I have a rash and itch so bad around the incisions. I had the Dr. check and he said they look fine. I wanted to tell him that they dont FEEL fine, but I held my tongue. :)

I have officially graduated to soft foods!!!!! YAY now I can eat like a 1/2 way normal person. Still no crunchy food yet because my pouch still has to heal, but at least I can CHEW something! YAHOO! So I enjoyed my first "soft" meal. I had 3 small bites of egg and 3 small bites of cooked apple. I chewed chewed chewed chewed so much that it basically dissolved in my mouth, but thats ok it tasted good.

Since I cant eat too much, I am supplementing my food, if you could call it that....with protein supplements. Currently I am in love with ISOPURE. It is like a flavored water/watered down juice. I really like the taste of it and it is totally managable.

Okie Dokie now it's time for the DRUM ROLL.....I know you were wondering how much I have lost this week. Trust me, so was I!

Well the total since my surgery, 10 days.....is..........any guesses???????

23 POUNDS!!!!

Can you believe it? I know this wont be like this every week and it will slowly decrease, I was still super excited! My hard work has paid off.

Well thats all friends! Thanks for reading and I will keep you posted on the Journey!

Quick Note:

Hello Everyone! I am officially one week post op! YAHOO.

There have been a few changes this last week I would like to share with you guys.

I am finally able to "enjoy" full liquids. I dont know how anyone could really enjoy cream soups, blech! Still really dont like to eat them, but I am trying to "embrace" it until soft foods come in.

What I do like is drinking the protein power stuff and WATER! I love love love water. I am thirsty all the time though which is really kinda annoying. I drank water all the time pre surgery, so to sip sip sip literally ALL DAY can be quite annoying and tedious. I am doing it though, it is necessary. Plus the more I drink, the less thirsty I will be. I HOPE!

Tomorrow is my first post op appointment when I will get to weigh in and check my status of how I am doing. I am excited about this, but not so excited about riding in the car that long. The car is the worst thing. Hopefully I will get my drain out too. If you did not know about that, you are lucky. Basically I have a drain in my abdomen to release excess fluid. That really is probably the most annoying part of this whole thing. I have a really weak stomach, but know after having this, I really feel like I could handle anything....Just about!

Anyway, I will try to post some pictures soon of my progress and some amusing pictures from the past week.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and support.

AND I am BACK.....

Hi Friends!!!!

I will make this semi-short because I am just for the first time sitting at the computer desk able to write, sit, and think. Man that is such an accomplishment!!! :)

First things first, thanks to all of you who have been praying for me and supporting me! I really have done well. I am a bit sore still, which is to be expected, sheesh I am only 5 days post-op!

Secondly, Thanks to my sister for updating my blog while I was away! I am glad you guys were able to be updated while I have been away.

Third, I wanted to announce the winner of the 1,000th viewer! The winner is Alison "Cyna" Sanchez!!! Will you email me again what you wanted and your address and I will get it out to you in a few weeks? Congrats again! I love these contests, so I will probably be doing another one soon! Just keep your eyes peeled.

Ok now on to how I am doing and what these last few days have been like.

Well, as you know, I got into surgery late monday night. I was so hungry and so thirsty and was really thinking "they are going to make me come back tomorrow." " I am never getting this done." Well then they wheeled me back....and it was show time. Next thing I know I was waking up in recovery. The first question I asked was "do I have a gallbladder?" The answer was NO!!! I was so excited to have that puppy out. Now to make gallstone jewelry.....I smell a contest! JK thats just gross.

Once I was back into my room I went to sleep and was in a bit of pain, but nothing too bad! The first night I really did not think my legs were going to work as I walked to I only made it out of the room then back to bed. But it was an accomplishment!

The next morning the Dr. came in with his nurse and they told me I could go home that day (tuesday) but I opted not because I was only 12 hours post op and was not feeling quite right. So I stayed another night, which, I am glad I did because I ran into some pain in the afternoon which was eliminated by Tordol (sp?). I also had really high blood sugar and required insulin. Man that stuff is a bummer!

The rest of the hospital day tuesday and wednesday morning were full of walking, sipping water, walking, sipping water,walking, sipping water, walking, sipping water, walking, sipping water, walking, sipping water, get my point? Pretty basic stuff.

THEN I GOT TO GO HOME!!!!! (well to my mom's house)

Things have been pretty awesome here! My mom is the best nurse and has been such a huge support. For the first few days Tue-Fri I was strictly on clear liquids, which for me consisted of water, ice, crysal light, SF jello, and some broth. The broth tastes too salty, so I am staying away from that at the moment.

Today I was promoted to "thick liquids" which is basically cream soups without chunks and cream of wheat. That is a HUGE step for my little tummy!

Each day gets better and each day I can use less and less pain medicine. I am feeling great and feel like this is the best decision I have ever made!

Thanks again for your prayers, and I will be on later for some pictures! Viewers beware:)

That's the Surgery Skinny!