God is Moving!

Ever really felt the presence of God? Ever KNOW that He is talking to you? Ever feel His voice booming so loud in your heart that if you ignored it you KNOW you would be directly disobeying Him?

Up until yesterday, I can honestly say that I had not heard God's voice really speaking clearly into my heart for over a year. I was talking with friend last night and I realized that I felt like I wasted this last year of my life. I did not spend as much time as I should have with the Lord. Sure I "read" my Bible and God sure did teach me things, but my heart was not purely and directly devoted to Him.

If you have read this blog for more than one month, you know that I have been "going through it." My life has been so challenging lately and I have been so burdened by where my life is going.

SO......lets rewind to last Wednesday. I am a part of a home church/bible study and part of what we do is confession. I hate confession, like most people do, because you have to show everyone your trash. So I volunteered to go first. Why? I dont know. But basically I confessed how I felt like I was being disobedient to God and really not allowing Him to change my heart about getting married and totally lacked the faith that He would take care of me. A friend totally spoke truth into my life and called me out on my sin and my lack of Faith.

I pondered what was said to me all week because it was true. I asked God "really do I not trust you?" The reality is, that I have so many idols in my life and so much that I feel that many times I dont REALLY need God because if things go sour, I make good money, or I know my family will take care of me. I felt like I did not NEED God, but he was lucky to have me. Shoot, I am a good person, do good things and all the other PRIDEFUL crap I spit at the face of my Lord on the cross.

Shifting gears until Sunday night. In church we were going over the Beatitudes and what it really means to be "blessed." Basically it means to be so full of joy in every situation regardless of what is going on in life. "Blessed are the poor in spirit" really means people who had nothing but the Lord found joy in that. I was so challenged and felt to convicted! If I had NOTHING in the world but Christ, would I be joyful? How about just content? The answer to both of those questions were NO!

Then something crazy happened! GOD SPOKE AND I LISTENED!!!!! I am still praying about what he said, but let me tell you I am SO EXCITED for what he desires in my life! I am trusting God's plan and his provision for my life. I am listening and willing to do what He tells me to do!

I desire to be His faithful servant and even if it counters what our culture would do. Since when do I want to do what is "normal?" Jesus was extreme! His disciples left EVERYTHING they had to follow Jesus. Why would I not feel like God wants to do the same thing in my life?

Friends, though I cant share exactly what He is doing in my life yet, I pray you can share in my excitement and prayers to our Father!

I am so excited to see how our Father is going to work it all out!