NOT ME MONDAY!!!

Lets "admit" it! You "did" it! You "deserve" to be ridiculed!

I am here to "confess" that I am NOT 100% GIRL! NOPE NOT ME. Here I will prove it!

1. I do NOT have 17 lip gloss' currently in my purse...and NO I did NOT open a purse while packing and find 8 MORE! NOPE NOT ME! And I certainly will NOT add them to my current purse.
   
2. Also, while packing, I did NOT find that I own 21 purses! And NO I sure did NOT only find 3 that I had to get rid of.
3. I do NOT own more than 30 different eyeshadows, and NO I have NOT worn each of them at least 5 times!

Your turn to share!!!! ENJOY

Humor fixes Everything...

To get things off on the right foot, let me just share with you that I am down 80 pounds! After talking with a good friend, she decided she/we will be throwing a "century party" ie: when I lose 100 pounds. We have been throwing around a few ideas.

1. dressing up and doing something people did in 1910.
2. bringing 100 of something to give to me. Suggested items: diamonds, twenties, purses, lipgloss, just to name a few.
3. doing something that 100 pounds ago I could not do. I said Six Flags was out but we shall see:) If you have any ideas, let me know!
   

Ok for some breakthroughs of the day! First things first....why am I standing like this????
Any Guesses????


Initially, I was just standing with my hand behind my back, then I realized something..."If I ever got arrested, they would only have to use one set of handcuffs on me." HAHA has anyone ever thought that when large people get arrested, they can't put their hands behind there back and are forced to use 2 pairs of handcuffs? I am guessing you probably did not ever think about it, and why I did, who knows....I have never even been pulled over!

Funny story too, my sister and I were talking about chafing. If you dont know what that is, well you must be skinny. Basically, my whole body felt like one big "chafe fest." I hated to even work out or even walk because the insides of my knees would chafe! That's right, I was so big that my knees had major chafage! But, today is my lucky day. I am happy to say that I think chafing is out of the picture FOREVER!

Want to know something else I learned today? Skinny people have it rough! That is right, I said it!!!! As I am getting thinner, I realize how uncomfortable you people must be! My knees were knocking together as I tried to sleep! My ribs are poking me, and I can feel my spine down the mattress. I felt bad yesterday for buying a mattress pad, but I know feel fully justified. Having your bones pushing against flesh and not 80 pounds of fat really hurts!

Dear body, please get tougher, because it hurts!

Here are some new pictures I can leave you with. Again, not the most stylish, but hey, I am modeling the weight/body, not the clothes:)

Leaping in Faith!

DISCLAIMER: This post is by no means motivated by accolades, approval, or anything of that nature. My intention is to share with you what God is doing in my life. I purely hope that this is just an encouragement for you to seek out God's will and His call for your life.

So a few weeks ago I posted that God was calling me to do something and I was not sure when I was supposed to do it and I needed prayer. Well today I finally, with much prayer and seeking wisdom, I responded to "the call." I quit my job. To be more accurate, I gave my two weeks notice.


I wreaked of pride. I hope that it was internal, but I repent to anyone who saw my pride. I felt accomplished that I had scored such a great job. Please don't get me wrong, I loved my job and still fully do! I have been so blessed with amazing opportunities to serve many different children, but I knew that it was my time to go.

I have leaped out of my comfort zone to quit a job that I love, but I love Jesus more! My desire above all things is seek Him. Through this, I have learned that NOTHING on this earth is ever certain. God can and will ask you to give up things because He has better things for you. I am walking in faith that this is exactly what God is doing for me. I have learned to let go of things of the world and trust that His rewards, whether here on earth or eternity, are greater than anything I can imagine here on earth.

So until God tells me for certain where to go, what to do, and guides my way, I will continue to trust in Him. He is faithful and works everything out for those who love Him!

COMING SOON!

Be watching the Blog because a contest is coming soon! :)
BE EXCITED.....it's a good one!

My Redemption....

I was thinking the other day.....oh my goodness we are in 2010! Yeah Yeah I know that we are already into April, but seriously where has the time gone? I keep forgetting I am 24 years old, have a great job, and have accomplished so many dreams already. I am right where God has me...in full submission to Him. I can't believe I graduated college 2 years ago! It seems like yesterday I was staying up late, talking with my best friends about what the heck we were going to do after we graduated and crying stressed that we would not have jobs, our lives were changing around us and the hopefully the door would not hit us on the way out of the "good ol' days" of college.

Now I look at where I am now and so much has changed in the last 10 years! I want to walk down memory lane for a little bit. For those of you who don't know me, my whole life has changed in ten years. A whole DECADE!

A story of redemption.....

SO........................Where was I ten years ago?
I was living in a small town on the central coast where the cows outnumbered the people. Cambria, to be specific. "Pines by the Sea" as they called it, because that is truly what it was, you walk through the forest to get to the ocean in most areas.

Lets see 10 years ago I would be just about ready to graduate Jr. High and move up in the world into High School. In 8th grade, I was the Student Body President....whatever that means in Jr. High. All I can remember is 2 things.....I really sucked at it (clearly my leadership gift came in much later:) and I went to some convention and learned how to make balloon arches. Oh I guess one more thing, I have a great teacher....Mr. Kniffen! He was awesome!

10 years ago come May I would be standing up in front of my class giving a speech about how "we had made it," through Jr. High mind you and that we were going to succeed. Little know fact, I ate too many sugar free Jelly Bellies and was super super sick....like bathroom sick, but I had to stay up there because I was about to be awarded the "Teachers Choice Award" or something like that. But, after the ceremony ended, me and the toilet made acquaintances.
That night also was filled with some pretty awesome memories filled with a Limo, Dance and good memories with friends.

But with every good time, there are hard times. Jr. High was the breeding ground of cruelty. Fat jokes, curiosities about how much I weighed, and sheer embarrassment all around. It was Jr. High where I got the "brilliant" idea to experiment with rapid weight loss techniques. I tried everything...diet pills, binging and purging, and not eating at all. I got sick, I felt sick, my life was going no where fast.

For me, this was an on and off battle for many many years. I never got too thin because really I did more of the binging and little of the purging. I soon found out I hated throwing up. Fast forward a few years, partying became more and more appealing as did eating less and less. My life was spinning out of control! I had a lot of time to myself to think about how bad my life sucked and when I did that, I became more and more insecure. I questioned why people would even talk to me, I questioned why people were even my friend and I hated the person that I was. I would look at myself in the mirror and say I "would rather be thin and die than live one more day in my body."

Since my parents divorce, I had had 2 stepdads. One, as many of you might know decided to make alternate life decisions, the second one was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, which forced my mom and I to move out to protect ourselves. Because of this, my life did not feel stable. I was full of hatred toward the men the hurt my mom and hurt me. I have never felt hate like that ever before and ever since then.

Well, I am guessing you think that this story is depressing....well I must tell you, you are mistaken, this is a story of Redemption....a story of a Cross....and a precious Savior.

My Junior year of High School, my mother forced me to go on a women's retreat. She swears I agreed to go, but trust me, I was going to have a party at my house while she was gone. I had no intention of going to this "stupid thing." But, I find it amazing that God chose this event to show me His redemption and His grace and that was only the beginning. I really have no idea what was said at that conference, but I remember this one song....I have never forgotten it. The chorus spoke to my heart....as if God was standing right in front of me. "At the cross we are forgiven, At the cross we are healed, At the cross new life is given, At the cross God's love is revealed." The walls of my heart shattered like the walls of Jericho and I suddenly began to understand God's love for me!

That year, God put it on my heart to go to Israel on a Missions Trip. Here I was so pleased to "reach" other people, but it was not until the end of the trip that I realized that trip reached me. Dear friends, I walked where Jesus walked, I wept were Jesus wept for His people. I sailed where He calmed the storm. I was baptized in the same river He was baptized.

Since that trip my heart has dedicated itself to God's work. Am I perfect at it? Not in any way. I still struggle and still desire things that are not of Him. But tonight, Good Friday, the night my Savior died with a mixture of sadness, joy, and abundant thanksgiving! Tonight, as I type this at home, some 2,000 years ago, my Savior hung from a cross because of my sins. If I were there, no doubt I would have been among those who spit in His face, ripped out His beard, whipped His back bare.

But still, my Savior hung from the cross to save me! Beyond all of the physical pain He went through on the cross, the worst had yet to come. His own Father had forsaken Him! I know what it feels to be rejected, but NEVER in the sense of how Jesus was rejected by His Father. All the wrath that we deserved from God was dumped upon His son. And MY JESUS, could have come down from that cross, but He didn't. He chose to hang there, rejected and die so that I might live eternally. I truly can not grasp the full magnitude of that Forgiveness and Grace, but what I do know is that nothing that I have done or will do earn me a ticket to hell. I have been bought. I am an heir to His throne.

I am redeemed!

Jesus, on this night, I especially thank you for the price you paid so I might have freedom. I can never pay you back, but Jesus, you knew that and still gave me life.