Unsettled

If someone told you they promised to give you a million dollars, but you just had to be patient and wait 1 year....if 364 days later someone offered you 1/2 a million, would you settle?

If you trained for a full marathon (26.2 miles), 2 weeks prior to your race would you settle to finish only a 5k (3.1 miles)?

If you were promised to graduate college with your Doctorate as long as you tried, would you settle for only your high school diploma and never attempt college?

Of course not right? Think about it, patience and trust are key elements of these scenarios. You need to wait to become a millionaire, trust you finish a race you have trained for, and attempt to do something you know you can do.

So let me ask you this question? If God promised you that he would bless you with a spouse specifically designed for you and you for him/her, would you settle for something less because you were not patient enough to wait or lacked the trust?

UGH right?!?! What a loaded question huh? I bet you did not know this post was going this way right?

Well, I have to share this with you because it is something near and dear to my heart. Too many times I have sat down to write this post but I was afraid I would do one of the following; offend people, be questioned what "experience" I had, or be held accountable for every thing I put in this post (meaning I cant settle despite waiting for what seems like forever.) I mean, I am about to stir up the pot, but hope to encourage those who are single and waiting.

So....ready GO!

What personal experience do I have? Well....absolutely none. Never been kissed, never dated, never been married, no kids. BUT I do have the wisdom from the Lord and his Word. So, instead of you just getting my opinion on something, I want to bring in the Truth.

Why is this dear to my heart? I have seen too many people lose hope and faith that God has someone out there for them. I have seen too many of my friends settle or desire to settle for something that is less than what I truly believe God has set up for them.

To me, marriage is something to be highly valued and treasured. Marriage is not about me and what I can get out of it. It is about selfless desire to serve the Lord together. I went through a really depressing period of my life where I NEVER wanted to get married. I was so confused what the purpose of marriage was. I recall a conversation with my good friend Heather where we talked for a while and she encouraged me in this. Marriage is the closest thing to unconditional love we can show the fallen world. In a corrupted world, people need to see two people who love and care for one another on a deeper level than the lusts of their flesh.

So if I am to show the fallen world unconditional love and be united front with my spouse, how could I possibly do this with someone who does not believe this charge from the Lord? The answer is, I cant. It is impossible.

So does that mean that when I get married everything will be perfect? Will I automatically know what to do as a wife and he as a husband? NOPE, not one bit. I have not a single clue what it is going to be like to live with someone for the rest of my life. I am not going to fully know what he likes/dislikes and how we can live together....and well, he is not going to be the perfect husband either. I loved how my friend Julianna put it. (click her name to see her full blog) Here is what she had to say about an epiphany she had on marriage "Then one afternoon, in conversation with my momma, I had an epiphany. I had been "expecting" my Ty to be an experienced, well-rounded, perfect husband. I expected him to be a perfectionist at husband-ing. Even though he'd never done it before. He'd never been a husband before. What was I thinking? And I wasn't good at wife-ing. I have never been a wife before. Ah it was so freeing. It was like all the burden of perfection was released from us. We allowed each other to make mistakes. We allowed each other to grow and learn and get better at this whole marriage thing. " Read the whole blog post HERE.

So sure, marriage is hard, I do not doubt that, but can you even imagine settling because you gave up on what God had planned for you? You are selling yourself short from the blessings God desires to give his children.

Here are some verses I have found that explains further why it is so important to marry someone who has the same understanding of marriage.

2 Corinthians 6:14 talks about not being "yoked with an unbeliever." I have heard this so many times, but it has only recently made more sense since I am a runner. If I am going to run a 3 legged marathon, I sure as heck am not going to be paired up with someone who has never run in their life. They will hold me back, they will get tired and slow me down. Likewise, I am running a race toward Christ and what He has in store for me. If I pursue a relationship with someone who is not pursing the same thing, I am going to have to slow down and wait. There is no time to wait. There is a Kingdom to pursue.

Ephesians 5 talks about the role of a husband and a wife. The husband is called to love his wife as Christ loved the church and the wife is called to be submissive to her husband. Now I know for me, if I was in a relationship with a man who did not love the Lord and share the same convictions that I had, it would be really hard to trust him and be submissive.

Lastly, this verse has spoken to me in SO many aspects of my life, but I think it also is important for marriage. Romans 15 talks about being an example of Christ and that together with one voice we can glorify God. I want to be united together in one voice with my husband.

We will run a race together to pursue the Kingdom and until then....I am still running. One day my path will cross with someone else, but I will not divert from my path to find him. I will not settle but wait on the Lord for I know that every good and perfect gift comes from the Father, but only in His divine timing.

So my prayer is this, 2 Samuel 22:37 Give me a wide path for my steps under me and my feet will not slip.

Here is not settling and waiting on the Lord. Psalm 27:14 "Wait on the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage. Wait on the Lord"