Rants from a Gym Rat

Ok Ok Ok, So I have had it with a few things that occur at the gym! I thought I would share them with you and maybe you can relate to me! Please feel free to contribute to this "rant." I know that certainly I can not cover it all in this simple post. But, I am sure going to try....and probably add some more at the opportunity presents itself....

I hope you see the satire and sarcasm in it.....remember who is writing it....ME!

Here is my letter to anyone who goes to the gym...

Dear Fellow Gym Rat:


It is FINE not to bring a towel....BUT please do not leave the 2 "cheek rings" on the seat when you get up. Sure, dude, your cheeks may be nice to look at, but the ring of sweat is not too fun to look at on the place I am about to sit. It is perfectly fine to shimmy your knee across the seat to wipe it away.

It is FINE to socialize with you buddies at the gym...BUT please do not crowd my space. If I am lifting weights....I would really appreciate if you did not rest your arm on my piece of exercise equipment. And please do not think about resting your back on it either. I am pumping iron, and these arms certainly could bust a lip if you are not careful. :)

It is FINE to ride the bike...BUT if you are doing less RPM's than I did in physical therapy for my knee because you are reading Cosmo, maybe you should pick another exercise. Sure, I would totally understand if you were older or outta shape, but I just saw you run on the treadmill....so what exactly are you doing wasting your time on the bike? Just wondering.....still wondering.....

It is FINE to use the mats....BUT if you are just sitting there talking to the hot guy that works there, I would prefer you get off the mat. Don't worry, I totally am not trying to stretch now on the hard ground...and no I totally did not just slip while stretching and almost fall on my face. Yeah don't worry, I do not REALLY need the mat to stretch, please sit there and look pretty for the hot guy.

It is FINE that you push yourself....BUT if you are going to make loud noises or grimaces that only belong in a rough bathroom sesh, please think twice. Not only is it really loud, but really awkward.

It is FINE to look around the gym and scope out what is going on....BUT please don't stare at me or eye how much weight I am lifting. I dont look at you...unless you are the same person I described as grunting above.

It is FINE to flirt....BUT please don't do it at the gym. Most people want to work out and get in shape and get their sweat on...and your flipping your hair and giggling is not gonna cut it here.

It is FINE to change in the locker room...BUT please do it away from me. There plenty of room in our locker room and I don't want to be at risk of a frisk.

It is FINE to stack on the free weights on the leg press machine....BUT could you please stack them when you are finished? I am trying to work out my quads, glutes, and...well whatever the other muscles in your legs are called, not bust my back taking off the six 50 pound weights you stacked on.

And lastly....it is FINE to run on the treadmill (shoot I do it)....BUT if there is 10 treadmills open around me....please don't decided to "one up" me and run faster, breathe harder, and last longer on the treadmill RIGHT NEXT TO ME. It is just inconsiderate...and makes me feel a bit incompetent.

Thanks, A Fellow Gym Rat