Gym Rat Rants Part Deux

I get asked sometimes if I have a favorite post...or which one makes me laugh still to this day? I would have to honestly answer that as YES for sure. THIS POST...day in and day out proves itself to be true. I run into these people who do these things all the time! I guess they have not been reading my advice for them.

Well, joyfully for you readers, but sadly for me, I have to report I have issued my second letter to the attendees at the gym....*wink*

So here it is...

Dear Gym Members...

First and foremost, the last 9 months have been quite a pleasure working out with you. You see, I completely enjoy seeing you work out and it is quite inspiring to work out with the same people every week. BUT there are some of you that need a bit of an intervention. So...this letter is for you. I have made it quite easy. I will now give you a list of things that I would appreciate you NOT do at the gym while we work out.

Lets discuss proper workout attire. I am sorry to report that Toms, Keds, and Ecko Whites are not appropriate footwear. If you want to develop shin splints...please do that at another gym. I do not want to see you limping around. INVEST in some tennis shoes.

On the topic of attire, I would kindly suggest you not wear jeans or overalls to work out. As far as I know, chafing is not a very good look on you. Save yourself the embarrassment of chafed "areas" and the discomfort.


Please bring a water bottle! The water fountain is for a "quick sip." You look like a camel preparing for a drought when you stand there for 100 years drinking water. I think that hump on your back is due to poor posture, not for holding water. Furthermore, please keep your mouth off the drinking fountain. Thanks :)

If you smoke, wear too much perfume, Axe deodorant, or rub Icy Hot on before you work out...please do not choose to run next to me. If I wanted to smell an array of aroma, I would frequent Purfumania, not the gym. NUFF SAID!

Also, person next to me on the treadmill, I specifically pick out a mix of my own music to listen to. Your singing, humming, whistling or just plain loud music is not necessary.

This one is specifically for men....why do you insist on ripping the arms off your t-shirt and all the way down the sides? I mean really, if you wanted a faux shirt...what I call a dicky, I can get you one, but do not waste a perfectly good shirt only to rip it. Furthermore, I would really prefer not to see your mipples. Thanks:)

Ladies: A sports bra is not considered a shirt. They call them undergarments for a reason...Empasis on the UNDER!

Speaking of undergarments...please WEAR them!

And lastly....Men please do not wear SHORT shorts...I mean sure I have no problem saying "hi" to some thigh, but I have been known to shriek at some cheek!

So there you have it. Fellow gym attendees, thank you for keeping me happy with some minor workout adjustments.

LOVE: A fellow Gym Rat

You may have finished reading this and still curious if you would be considered a "gym rat."

If you ask yourself this, here are three tell tale signs you are indeed a gym rat!

1. When you hear the word "push up" you know that this is indeed an exercise, not the most delectable Popsicle you will have eaten.
2. When you hear the word "kettle bell" you know that this means a piece exercise equippment, not the bell that sounds when tea is ready. And it certainly is not for bringing the cows home.
3. When you hear the word "hamstring" you know that is a muscle, not a ham and string cheese sandwich.

So there you have my dear readers. Do you have any gym rants you want to share? I would love to hear them!